Friday 30 September 2011

My marriage

As a little girl, I dreamt of the Perfect Husband... I would be the Perfect Wife, and together we would live in a beautiful home and raise our Perfect children.

Instead, since having our beautiful daughter, I've found myself being JEALOUS! of single mothers!! A man who was in our home yesterday was telling us he'd split up from the mother of his child, but that he looked after his daughter four nights a week..... wow!! what would I give for those nights off at the minute!!

I imagined having a third less laundry; no newspapers lying around; not having to think about what to feed him everyday!; not to have to entertain his friends when they call in the evenings;
Now since I've been cutting myself a bit of slack lately, and allowing myself to be not so perfect after all, I thought it only fair to allow my husband the same leeway so i've been thinking...

Instead of being sad that he rarely says 'I Love You', I'm trying to be thankful everytime he says 'I'll do it', or 'Let me help', or even 'How are you'?

Instead of sighing that he never buys me flowers, I'll remember it's more useful that he brings home milk and fresh bread, and always asks when he's going out if he can bring anything home from the shop.

We may not share many romantic candlelit dinners, but we're both committed to family dinnertimes every day, and; even better! he gives Rose her breakfast most days so I can dress in peace

We don't often for romantic walks together like me & my Perfect Husband would have... but he takes our little girl out on his lawnmower, or to visit her grandparents, or to feed the ducks... and that's the sweetest thing :)

We may not have sex as often as i would like (did I mention, once I got a bit older, I always expected to have lots of Perfect Sex with my Perfect Husband?), but he rubs my feet when I'm tired in the evening, and shares big family hugs and cuddles at bedtime. He doesn't even mind that I've been sharing a bed with our daughter for 16 months instead of with him! (okay, okay... so Perfect Husband would perhaps have bought a bigger bed so we all slept together...oh, and Perfect Husband would like sex in the mornings, and afternoons too instead of believing it can only be done in bed, at night... but I'm not meant to be thinking about Mr Perfect, am I? lol)

Yes, I'd love to be able to send Rose to "her Dads" and have a night or two off.... but I'd miss both of them pretty quickly I'm sure!

He may be irritating at times, but he wasn't around who'd cut the lawn? and take the car to the mechanic? and feed the animals (that *I* wanted) when it was raining?

In the last 30 months, I've supported him through a heartbreaking divorce (his wife left him months before I met him); We've conceived a child together; I left my job, he lost his; for 9 months he carried me ice pops and flat pepsi when I was sick and pregnant. He was there - holding me up - when I gave birth to our baby. With blood, sweat and tears we've started a business and built a life.

We share a business, a home, a child, four ducks, three cats and a dog.

We were two sad, lonely, searching people and now we're a family. and if he's not Perfect? well neither am I. And on reflection? it looks like he's perfect for me.

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